Faire La Bise: How to Kiss Like French People

The French are interesting people and their culture can be a bit of a shock for some foreigners. One integral part of French culture that the non-French often find a little complicated is la bise.

In France, where social interactions are very direct, people faire la bise instead of hugging, shaking hands, or waving hello. It is actually a pretty adorable way to greet one’s friends if you ask me!

You will learn, though, that how la bise is done varies across the country. It’s the origin of the popular French joke saying that one will recognize the city one is in by counting the number of cheek kisses. 

Faire La Bise: How To Kiss Like French People

Read on to find out more about the “real” French kiss and how to kiss like a French person.

What is La Bise?

La bise is not really the tongue-fencing “French kiss” non-French people think it to be. Instead, la bise is a very wholesome traditional greeting in France. It means “the kiss” or “the little kiss.” 

La bise is not an actual kiss, however. Not a lip-to-cheek contact, at least, but rather just slight grazing of the cheeks.

La bise is technically an act of “cheek kissing” which is an important part of the day-to-day life of the French. It’s a cheek-to-cheek kiss complete with the kissing noise, something the French people do with their family, friends, or colleagues a few times a day. So it’s really something you will encounter all over France. 

The Origin of La Bise

Faire la bise or la bise is a big deal in France. It’s a serious business and a huge element of French culture. But did you know that la bise was actually Roman in origin?

The term “la bise” itself has Roman origins. It derives from the Latin word “basium”  which means to “kiss.”

Basium was one of the three different types of kisses the Romans had, the other two being the romantic kiss called “saevium”  and the religious or friendly kiss called “osculum.” Basium was the kiss the Romans used for greetings. The root of the modern French word for “kiss” is “le baiser” which was later shortened to “la bise.” 

In ancient times, Romans greeted one another with basium, for the very same reasons that the French use la bise in modern times. The custom of “cheek kissing” became part of the French culture after the first World War.

Contrary to popular beliefs, la bise is not unique to France. Various other countries also kiss on the cheek as a tradition. They do it in southern European and Arabic countries as well as Russia and South America, with the context and the social codes varying in each.

When to Faire La Bise

For the non-French, kissing may seem like a bizarre way to greet total strangers. For the French, however, it can actually serve as a way to distance oneself and avoid the dreaded hug. Because for most Europeans, a hug feels way too intimate, invading their personal space.

The French people use la bise to say “hello” and “goodbye,” as well as “congratulations.” This social kissing gesture is also used when comforting someone or showing respect.

Who to Faire La Bise With

The French faire la bise with their family, friends, or colleagues, or someone they are introduced to. This applies generally to women.

Men also faire la bise, but only when they are related or are really close friends. Men who are colleagues, acquaintances, or casual friends do not. Some men wouldn’t even do it with anyone outside of the family.

For a foreigner in France, a handshake is preferred in a professional context. Do not hug and invade the other person’s space.

How Many Kisses

So, how many kisses exactly are needed to do la bise? 

In a series of online surveys made by the French linguist Mathieu Avanzi, the results vary from different parts of France. The number can range anywhere from one to a staggering four.

The only part of France where one kiss is enough is the Brittany’s Finistère region.

In the rest of the country, most residents exchange two kisses when doing la bise, with the exception of those in the south of the Rhône-Alpes and the Languedoc regions.

In northern France, people exchange both two and four kisses.

So two is the most common number of kisses when doing la bise. It’s how the Parisians do it. However, in some areas like Montpellier and Nîmes, they kiss three times to symbolize the Holy Trinity.

Which cheek to kiss first

Just like the number of kisses, which cheek to kiss first when doing la bise varies across the country.

From Mathieu Avanzi’s surveys we also learn that in the southeastern and eastern parts of France, people kiss the left cheek first. As for the rest of the country, the right cheek gets the first kiss. 

The key to doing it right, though, is to go slowly and adjust to the other person in the moment.

How to Faire La Bise: A Step-by-Step Guide

Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to do la bise properly. 

Step 1: Make eye contact.

This is important as it lets the other person know of your intention to faire la bise.

Step 2: Approach the other person.

Be careful not to get so close that you are touching bodies. Just near enough so you won’t have to lean forward uncomfortably is fine. If you are both wearing eyeglasses, one of you should take them out. 

Step 3: Put your hand on their arm or upper shoulder.

This rather intimate gesture signifies close friendship or a warm welcome, so this is optional.

Step 4: Pucker lips.

You’re going to kiss the other person, better pucker up.

Step 5: Offer one cheek.

Turn it on a side and stick to it. Whether to offer the left cheek or the other depends on where you are. But to be on the safe side, just wait for the other person to turn their cheek first.

Step 6: Lightly graze your cheek against theirs.

It’s a brief touching of cheeks and there’s no need to brush your lips against their cheek. It’s important: Never really kiss the cheek. Kissing directly when doing la bise is only done to a close friend or a family member.

Step 7: Make a kissing noise.

A noise that resembles a smack is necessary because la bise should not sound empty.

Step 8: Turn your other cheek.

Again, the number of times you should offer your cheek depends on where you are. The local customs will dictate as to how many times you must switch cheek sides.

Step 9: Distance back as soon as la bise is done.

Do not linger. Period.